Making Magic Moments

The transition from a chaotic "Spaghetti Night" to a functional family unit didn't happen by accident. It happened because we treated our family time with the same level of respect one might give a sacred appointment or a critical board meeting. We stopped treating family time as "what’s left over" and started treating it as the "prime meridian" of our lives.

The new Making Magic Moments (MMM) tradition: the sacred appointment

The rules for an MMM are simple, but the results have been profound. We have an MMM meeting every month. The core rule is this: One person is the designated host. This person—whether it is my wife, one of our daughters, or our youngest grandchild—is given total creative control. They decide the activity, plan the logistics and run the evening. By rotating this responsibility, we ensure the "emotional labour" of family connection doesn't fall on just one person’s shoulders (usually the mother or grandmother).

When the burden is shared, the investment grows. We’ve seen this play out in ways that have moved us to tears and made us roar with laughter.

One month, my grandson hosted a “Tie-Dye Disaster” event. He took his role as host very seriously. He had plastic sheets laid out, vats of vibrant dyes ready and a stack of plain white T-shirts. By the end of the hour, we had more paint on ourselves than on the fabric; our kitchen looked like a Jackson Pollock canvas gone rogue. But something shifted. As we scrubbed blue dye off the linoleum together, we weren't just "co-existing." We were teammates. We laughed until our stomachs hurt and for that hour, the outside world—with its emails and leaky taps—didn’t exist.

Defining your VIPs: the three pillars

Why does this system work where a simple "dinner together" often fails? Because my family are my VIPs—my very important people. And we have VIPs in common—the three core pillars of our connection: values, interests and purpose.

Values: acting out who we are We’ve always said our family stands for humour, kindness and resilience. But values are just words unless they’re practiced. In an MMM, our values are tested and exercised. When Louise hosted an "Escape Room at Home" night, we had to practice extreme patience and teamwork to solve her puzzles. We weren't just talking about resilience; we were practicing it as the clock ticked down. The activity forces our shared values into the physical world.

Interests: discovering the unknown One of the mistakes we make with those we love is assuming we already know them. We box our children and grandchildren into the versions of them we met years ago. MMMs break those boxes. When Joanne ran an improv session, she revealed a hidden talent for acting and a razor-sharp wit I hadn't really noticed before. We don’t just assume we know each other anymore; we actively explore each other's worlds. We become students of one another.

Purpose: the gift of belonging When our youngest, Bessie, is the host, her voice is the loudest in the room. Her ideas reign supreme. In a world where children and seniors often feel like they have very little agency, giving them the power to set the purpose for the event, instils a sense of power, pride AND purpose. It tells them: Your perspective matters to this tribe.

The magic is in the commitment

It’s easy to look at my "80’s Movie Quiz" night—which mainly proved my kids have zero respect for cinematic history—and think it’s just a game. But the magic isn't in the quiz. It’s in the commitment.

It’s a commitment so firm you say, "This family time is non-negotiable." It’s a lighthouse in the sea of life. No matter how high the waves of work or administrative stress get, we can see the light of the next MMM on the horizon.

However, as I sat back and watched my family laugh during a "Family MasterChef" session, I felt a lingering truth. While the MMMs gave us the structure for connection, there was still a "static" in the back of my mind. Even in the middle of the magic, the "what-ifs" of my unorganised affairs were lurking.

I realised to be truly, 100% present for these magic moments, I needed to do more than just plan a game. I needed to ensure that my life's "background noise" was silenced for good.

In our next blog story, we'll discuss the 'hidden thief" and how we can change our world by changing our thinking.